Something very thought provoking happened to me on Boxing Day. I was cycling to our local shopping centre at about 10 am and as I passed the first pedestrian that morning, she greeted me with a very cheery "Hello". I returned the greeting and thought nothing of it until the next person I passed, also smiled and wished me a good morning.
Nothing eventful happened in the shop I visited but on my return, I passed three other people and all of them greeted me with a smile and a hello. Now, I'm not sure if this is unusual in the parts of the world in which you live; however, where I live, it is.
Normally, each morning I walk or cycle and pass 10 to 20 people and although I greet most of them as I pass, I very seldom hear anything in return. That doesn't particulalrly bother me; I realise that they are wrapped in their own world and their own thoughts. I also know that two of the people that greeted me on Boxing Day are people that I often see on a daily basis and never as much as mutter at me.
So, what is different? I am a very spritual and reasonably religious person and so for me, Christmas still maintains it's biblical significance but I'm sure that is not the case for many. For them, it is a holiday and this particular year, it is a good long one for a lot of people.
After much thinking about this, the conclusion I drew was that, at this time, those same people who are normally too worried about rushing this way and that for their work had been able to relax. They were actually in control of their day. They had obviously wanted to go out for a particular reason and were therefore in control of their actions.
I further concluded tha this could mean that, for the other 45 + weeks of the year, they did not feel in control of their situations. I surmised that life was probably in control of them and they felt powerless alter that. Therefore, their outlook was likely to be pretty miserable, as anyone would be when someone or something else is pulling their strings.
This realisation made me really sad but I also remembered back to when I thought that way; that was a long time ago but i can still remember the daily anger I felt when nothing seemed to go right for me.
So, what changed for me? I still work, I have teenage kids like most and I don't have millions of pounds in my wallet or bank account. However, I know now that I am in control of my life and my destiny.
I have goals I wish to achieve that are in line with my values and beliefs and every day, I am taking small steps towards them. of course there are setbacks, disappointments and times when nothing has appeared to go as I wished. However, I am also aware of those things I can change. I take responsibilty for those seemingly uncontrollable events because I know there was probably something I did or didn't do that led to that happening.
This realisation, learning to control and taking responsibility has all come about from life Coaching. That is what I now do. We help people to discover what they want form life; we help people to set their own plans for working toward those goals and we help people to realise that they are responsible for their life; and with that realisation comes their freedom to know that they can change what is happeneing to them.
Everyone has something they want to strive for, even if they are unaware of it and some will reach those goals themselves; however, our task is to help the person find those goals and help that person accelerate the process of thier attainment.
I wish you all a fantastic New Year and if you would like help to take control of your life, please just email me at tannermark@rocketmail.com. I would love to help you.
Have a great day,
Mark.
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